I sometimes get a bit weighed down with people saying how lucky Stardust is. Lucky why? There is nothing lucky about his situation. I feel like shouting, hollering and bawling from the rooftops when people say that, I find it offensive. They don’t understand, they really don’t get it, his life has been full blown toughness. He has fought more than most of us will in a lifetime, in a system that really had no time or inclination to find him. He has had to work on building up a resilience that would out shine the sun because he knows how much he hurts and upsets people when he becomes aggressive. To bounce back from that and keep going is incredible. He cannot read and he cannot write yet he keeps trying, he keeps trying because he desperately wants to know. Stardust has intrinsic motivation for sure, he is riding the wave. He helped me find my passion – I found it because of him. I am lucky not Stardust.
This week has been an eye opener for me. Stardust seems to be moving quickly, his problem solving skills have been flying out of him at the supersonic speed of light. Reassured and content that we are 100% definitely doing the right thing.
I know to many these things sound so unimportant and pretty much insignificant. Nothing is ever a given with Stardust so these things are really important and really significant. They show leaps and bounds of progress. They help us to confirm that his brain is starting to work things out and they really show us all that Stardust always does the best he can - this we knew but to have affirmation of it is reassuring. I am feeling pretty pleased with these big steps he has made this week. Stardust responds to the way we work with him because: we respect him and trust him to do the right thing. I know this is because we do not sanction, we do not reward and this gives him the opportunity to really work things through. Removing items, taking children out of situations without giving them a chance to suss it out for themselves is unhelpful at best. How will internal coping ever occur? It doesn’t – it is controlled coping and this is never good. I am looking miles into the future and helping him to lay down foundations for success. We will keep going, we will get there, I know we will.